I want JT to hear the ocean waves.  I want to sit in the sand where the waves withdraw from under my feet, taking with them my heartache.

I woke up the next morning after what would be our last doctor’s appointment to evaluate JT’s CDH and knew we should take a family trip to the beach.  I find peace in the consistent break and roll of the waves.  When I see the moon’s glow reflecting off the dark water it reminds me there is always hope.  So, we planned our trip and were in Galveston a few weeks later.  I thought we should take family pictures to capture this special time together with JT.  My mom reminded me to pack Ava’s pink bear so she could be present with us in the pictures.

We set out in the early evening to meet the photographer.  As we were leaving the beach house I realized I left Ava’s bear at home.  I was sad but Todd reminded me she’s always in our hearts.  The photographer asked us to meet on the boardwalk in the middle of town and said we could walk down to the beach together — she knew a perfect spot.  After taking several pictures I turned around and saw a lifeguard stand.  It was numbered.  We were taking pictures in front of lifeguard stand 47.  Ava, and now JT, are always in our hearts.  We may not always be able to see our angels.  But Ava made sure she was present in our family pictures.

Mommy, Daddy, Jason, Jackson, JT and our life guard, Ava.  All together.

A perfect family portrait.

Lifeguard stand 47